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11.2 In-Show Skit - Sheepster
A large Asian man makes his way down the hall, past nervous onlookers. The reason for their nervousness is the small, elaborately wrapped package, complete with red bow, he is carrying in both hands with extreme care. Mr. Wang checks the signs on the doors he passes, until finally, he stops in front of one. He rolls his shoulders and his neck. He then takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He then slowly puts the package in one hand, and raises the other and knocks on the door. He steps back quickly. No answer. He steps forward and knocks again and again steps back quickly. He hears voices from the other side of the door. But no answer. Sighing, Mr. Wang steps forward a third time and knocks. He steps back quickly and this time, shifts the package back to both hands. Again, he hears voices on the other side of the door. This time they get louder. Finally, the door starts to open. Mr. Wang puts a big smile on his face. Sheepster: I told you I heard something. Oh! Hello there! You must be lost! I think the room you’re looking for is down the hall on the left. Sheepster steps out into the hallway, and looks down the corridor. Mr. Wang smiles and bows slightly and takes a half step forward, holding out the package in front of him. Sheepster: Or is it the other way? Wait, let me think…I came in from over there, so that must mean that the room you're looking for would be on my right, and that means down that way, or is it up a level? I get turned around.. Mr. Wang clears his throat and bobs a little, still holding out the package. Sheepster: Or is it on the other side? Which way is north? Huh? Oh! Is that for me? I didn't order any Chinese food. I’m trying to watch my weight. But thank you for the offer! Very kind of you! Mr. Wang’s eyes flash at the Chinese food remark, but he quickly is all subservient smiles. He clears his throat again, and bows a little lower. Sheepster: Unless there’s eggrolls involved. I love those things! So, what have you got there? Oh! Hey! It’s not Chinese food! It’s a present! For me?!? I love presents! But I was really looking forward to some eggrolls. All this talk of eggrolls got me hungry. But a present is just as good! Thank you! Sheepster takes the box from Mr. Wang. Mr. Wang stands upright, but doesn't leave. Sheepster starts to tear open the box. Inside the wrapping paper is a small, wooden box, engraved with Japanese characters and figures from mythology. Sheepster eyes the box with wonder. Sheepster: Wow. That’s a nice box! Thank you! This will look great on my mantel! Sheepster reaches out and grabs Mr. Wang’s hand and starts to shake it. Sheepster: Thanks again! Sheepster turns to go, but Mr. Wang clears his throat noisily. Sheepster: Oh! That’s right! The tip! Sorry, but I haven't got my wallet on me right now. Mr. Wang rolls his eyes, and struggles to hold his smile. Finally, he gestures for Sheepster to OPEN the box. Sheepster: You mean there’s more? Awesome! Sheepster opens the box. Inside is a dark green envelope. Also, underneath, is a ticket, sitting on red velvet. Mr. Wang starts to mime to Sheepster to open the envelope, but Sheepster is already a step ahead. Inside, is a handwritten letter. Sheepster reads it aloud. Sheepster: “My Dearest Sheepster”, aw, how sweet. “ I hope you accept this present I offer you. They say nothing beats seeing a great wrestling match live, and in person. And it would haunt me until the end of days for me to think that you would miss what one man can do with the right opportunity. So, please, accept this front row ticket to what may turn out to be the greatest historical match in LPW history. Sincerely, Your Old Friend, Wevv Mang Owner’s Cup 2006 Winner” Sheepster puts down the letter and picks up the ticket. He stares at it, expressionless. Mr. Wang smiles smugly at him. He starts to reach out to slap Sheepster on the arm in a friendly, yet aggressive way, when Sheepster suddenly smiles. Sheepster: AWESOME! Thanks again! I’ll tip you next time! HEY GUYS! GUESS WHAT I GOT! A FRONT ROW TICKET TO TONIGHTS MAIN EVENT! HEY GUYS! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS! CHECK THIS OUT! Sheepster tucks the box under his arm and holding the ticket up, turns and runs into the room and slams the door behind him. Mr. Wang, arm still about to tap Sheepster stares with open mouth. Finally he closes his mouth, shakes his head, shrugs, adjusts his tie and hat, and then starts back down the hallway.